On Sunday, I had the privilege of attending a wedding. It reminded me just how much I love them. I love the dress, the flowers, the reception and all the celebration that comes with a wedding. But what I find most stunning are the promises the bride and groom make to one another. For in them, they spell out what love looks like. The minister asks the bride and groom, “Will you love them, comfort them, honour and protect them, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to them as long as you both shall live?”
Those words are a public declaration, spoken in front of family and friends, about how they intend to treat one another. At its heart, marriage is a public commitment to look beyond yourself and love the other. It’s this kind of love that helps us understand the three commandments that follow:
“You shall not murder.
You shall not commit adultery.
You shall not steal.”
(Exodus 20:13–15)
Putting Others First
These commands show us what love looks like. They teach us to respect and protect what God has given to others. Imagine receiving a gift that was intended for someone else. You wouldn’t simply open it and claim it as your own. You recognise that it belongs to someone else. At their core, murder, adultery and stealing all involve taking what is not ours. They reveal an attitude that says, “What I want matters more than what God has given to you.” It’s all about me.
Jesus turns this attitude completely upside down. Paul writes in Philippians 2:
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Murder says, my anger matters more than your life. Adultery says, my desire matters more than my commitment to you. Stealing says, what I want matters more than what belongs to you. But Paul says, look to the interests of others.
And then he gives us the ultimate example of Jesus. Jesus had every right to honour and glory, yet he humbled himself and gave himself for us. Christianity is not ultimately about trying harder to obey a list of rules. It begins by looking at Jesus, who loved us by giving himself for us, and then learning to love others in the same way.